Dating, romance, and sex offer some of the most exciting and satisfying times in a man’s life. The mating game is ecstasy to misery, rejection to success, day by day and even hour by hour. Many men struggle to get a foothold in the sexual marketplace but others have a wide range of options.
Usually the initial response to having sexual options is to think in terms of increasing notch counts, flags and range of experience. This approach can be very satisfying, at least for a while, but brings with it a range of risks.
Risk is always present and can’t be eliminated entirely. Obviously measures which reduce risk without reducing sexual opportunity should be taken. Often, though there is a trade-off between enjoying the delights and avoiding the pitfalls. The more successful, charmed, and invincible a man seems the more he needs to divert his effort and attention away from sexual success and towards reducing the inevitable risks.
Game presents a range of tactics to increase sexual opportunities for a man. This article offers a sort of “anti-game” list of tactics to reduce risk, hopefully without losing too many of the rewards. This is not a list of suggested rules for living, but a toolkit of tactics to consider in the struggle to find the best point between excessive adventure and excessive caution.
1. Reject unattractive, bad, or crazy girls
Every sex act is a risk and some are riskier than others. Not every sex act brings equal benefits or any pleasure at all. In plentiful circumstance it is still tempting to just grab everything. Perhaps it is time to consider rejecting the less desirable and the loose cannons.
2. Never set out to pump and dump
If sex is being achieved fairly quickly then pump-and-dump is an inevitable part of the game. Girls will sometimes turn out to be less worthwhile than they seemed, and have to be passed on after sex. By contrast, setting out to have sex with a girl but one time only is usually a mistake. The only reason to consider pump-and-dump in the first place is because a girl is of marginal attractiveness or is dangerous. The costs, benefits, and risks of having such encounters just don’t add up when there are other, better options available, even if not immediately.
3. Keep the lies to a minimum
By convention, some lies are completely accepted in the mating market or at least considered regrettable but minor lapses. Others, particularly those involving infidelity, are potential dynamite. Perhaps the easiest ways to avoid problems here is to keep the existing relationship status vague in the telling and to keep the existing relationship status vague in fact.
4. Resist the temptation to escalate too quickly
The obvious advantage of quicker escalation is quicker sex and that’s quite some advantage, but there are problems. The faster a girl is willing to be escalated the more likely that she is crazy or low quality in some way that is not instantly obvious. Quick escalation means less time for assessment of risks for both participants.
5. Keep records of romantic and sexual activities
Always keep a diary of sexual encounters. The form is not so important but it should include names, addresses, locations, dates, times, photos, activities, sex acts and menstruation data. It should also include notes about the people and circumstances surrounding events.
The diary will be useful when a mostly forgotten girl reappears much later, and is worth its weight in gold in the event of pregnancy claims or false rape allegations. Having exact information is handy for assessing girls quality and fidelity, and for checking their stories after the fact. It’s also nice to be able to have a memory jogger when looking back to analyze performance and tactics.
It should go without saying, but make sure that no girl gets to see it, ever.
6. Maintain distance in relationships
The general rule is to not let temporary or probably temporary girls get into a position to cause damage. That means limiting their contact with more permanent and important areas of a man’s life. Some girls are already in positions where they have the ability to cause damage. Playing with housemates, workmates, and friends is playing with fire.
7. When it gets nasty or it’s over don’t make things worse
So, it’s clearly coming apart. Accusations are flying, maybe fists are flying. It’s often tempting to inflame the situation by making smart comments, arranging for one last encounter, text baiting, and so on. Maybe it’s to express annoyance, maybe it’s to try to seem to be in the right, maybe it’s just for entertainment. Don’t do it, it’s dangerous. She’s really not that important anyway.
Published as a guest post on Return of Kings here